Divorce is difficult at any time of the year, but it’s even worse when you’re in the thick of it during the holiday season. Christmastime is the most nostalgic time of year, so it’s not exactly the ideal time to be ending your marriage. However, you can’t always control the timing of your life—so it’s best to learn how to get through it with as little pain as possible.
Get our top tips for getting through the holidays without breaking down. Then, when you’re ready for more personalized advice regarding your case, call Holcomb & Russell at 228-432-6652 to get started.
Figure Out the Nuts and Bolts of the Holidays Early
Before you start thinking about meeting the emotional needs of the holiday season, get the necessary plans out of the way. If you and your ex share children, you will need to agree on a schedule for school break and the holidays. This will likely be a painful discussion, so get it out of the way—and in writing to avoid miscommunications—early on. This gives you a schedule and agreement to fall back on if disagreements arise during the holidays.
Plan Ahead for Your Emotional Needs—Including Emergency Situations
This is not the time to try to prove how strong you are or how you’ve moved on quickly. This is the time to use all of the support you have available to you, including your therapist, close family members, and friends.
You want to avoid reaching out to your ex in a moment of weakness, no matter what. Make sure your holiday season has enough socializing to keep you engaged in society, but not so busy that you have no time to yourself.
You should also consider the needs you may have during emergency situations. Think about those moments when your ex has hit you with bad news out of left field or hurt you verbally after a child swap. Know whom you can call and who will be there for you when you are spiraling.
Avoid Old Family Traditions and Try to Create New Ones
It’s hard to move on from old family traditions when your family isn’t the same as it once was. Instead of trying to keep those traditions going on without your ex—a maneuver guaranteed to hurt you—come up with your own traditions to do with your children. This may be the time to check out the lights display at the next town over, visit an out-of-town friend for a weekend to exchange gifts, or attend a local school’s Christmas play.
Set Aside Time for Real Self-Care
By self-care, we don’t mean a shower or a nap—those are basic biological necessities that you should absolutely make sure you can get on a regular basis. In this case, self-care means activities that actually nurture you when you are hurting.
For some, that might mean weekly massages or pedicures. For others, it may mean joining a gym with childcare so you can get those extra endorphins. To others, self-care means a standing weekly night out with your best friends. No matter how busy your schedule is, don’t get rid of the little routines that make life more enjoyable and manageable.
Hand the Legal Side of Your Case Over to Attorneys
If you don’t yet have a divorce lawyer, this is the time to hire one. If you can hand off the legal side of your divorce, you can limit your communication with your ex as much as possible. This can minimize your stress and help you stay focused on yourself during this difficult time.
With an attorney, you only have to talk to your ex about child drop-off and pickup. Everything else, including the division of assets, child support, alimony, and the timeline of your divorce, can go through your attorneys.
Reach Out to Holcomb & Russell—We’re Here to Help!
The team at Holcomb & Russell understands how difficult it can be to get divorced during the holidays. We’re here to support you and take the legal issues off your shoulders. Set up a consultation now by calling us at 228-432-6652 or contacting us online.
